A Reprint September 8, 2023
A special gift was given by God on June 3, 1982, at Cedars-Sinai Hospital, Beverly Hills, California, at 12:13 a.m.
Fast forward 22 years, 3 months, 2 days - Thursday, September 8, 2004, my beautiful, gifted daughter ascended to God, Manhattan, New York, on the FDR Freeway.
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The theme of this Citigal issue is "Relationships".
I was asked by co-publisher, Melanie Beres, CITIGAL Magazine to write the center article for the summer of 2007.
My article highlights personal SNAPSHOTS of a special relationship with my daughter, Yvette Terease Flagg. The relationship started in my womb and continues today in her tomb. This article highlights various relationships along the way - during my pregnancy, grief training, daily efforts of keeping her alive, but most of all, the blessings of Jesus that have helped me open the window wide to the world of grief, and the adjustment that is daily.
Pregnancy in the Womb
Never was a woman as happy inside as I was when my physician, Dr. Lewis Wyatt, Los Angeles, California told me that I was pregnant - in October 1981.
It was a status I had dreamed about. It was a position of love, honor and privilege - so taught by my Mother, Mrs. Jeanette Bond Glass. At 36 years old, I thought that I would be left out. So from the moment I was told, I engaged in a RELATIONSHIP of LOVE through discovery. The months of pregnancy were filled with wonderment. Why, I would laugh, talk, take the baby to lunch, go sightseeing, listen to special music for her enjoyment (mine, too), and watch my stomach grow.
Dr. Wyatt, Obstetrician and Gynecologist had been referred a few years back by friend, co-worker, and mother-expert, Daarina Ali. She and I taught American and foreign students (African, Latino, and Asian) at Los Angeles Business College. We would often talk of my desire for a child. She had three children and made it a point to be knowledgeable, about health and children.
Daarina shared a special book from her personal library that gave the timeframe and stages of development of a baby.
So, I believe I clocked the time Buddie, the affectionate nickname I gave Yvette, received the hair on the back of her neck.
Also, Daarina had advised me that the recurring "heartburn" that I was experiencing in the final trimester was due to Yvette having a head of hair. She was right; Buddie came with a head full of black curly hair.
Baby and Me
I feel I had an enviable pregnancy - 2 minutes of morning sickness in the whole process. I think it was the smell of sausage that did it. The other time she made her presence known was when I was late eating one morning and she was hungry. Boy did she kick, but just as soon as I down the first two bites of the regular diet, oatmeal, eggs, bacon, and milk, she settled down.
That incident of kicking revealed to me the fine-tuned relationship of my body and its "host" position for my baby.
Eating was always special to Yvette. As an adult, she was weight and health-conscious. She meticulously prepared food with exact ingredients. As a toddler, she ate food separately; all the meat, then all the vegetables, then all the fruit, etc. She did not mix the foods until after she went to daycare school.
Being over 35, Dr. Wyatt scheduled me for an amniocentesis test - a surgical procedure for obtaining a sample of amniotic fluid by inserting a hollow needle through the abdominal wall to detect genetic defects or possible obstetric complications. His reason was to see if my baby had Down syndrome, sickle-cell anemia, etc. It also gave gender. I wanted to know all.
Every part of my pregnancy included "relationships" that were memorable and provided discovery. My amnio test was given at the UCLA Women's Center on a sunny and pleasant day. I lived in Culver City and UCLA is West LA-Brentwood area, about 20 minutes by bus. Even though Dr. Wyatt had reassured me that the center was well-known and respected, I was concerned that they would harm my baby. I feared they would stick her with that long needle.
On the day of the test, the technicians constantly reassured me that "Buddie" would not be harmed. In a short period of time, the test was over. Glad to be over the test, I treated Yvette and I to an ice cream cone - it was followed by a pleasant ride on the bus. A few weeks later, I found out all was well and I would have a girl. The episode stands out in my mind and causes a chuckle.
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MORE TO COME
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